Sometimes, it can be difficult to tell how your relationship is going. Hence, it is no surprise that some spouses find themselves caught off guard when their partner asks for a divorce.
While most marriages have their ups and downs, it’s important to be proactive when assessing where you stand. Spotting the signs your marriage may be ending can help you prepare for what may be coming next. A team of researchers has determined that the following factors may be red flags that a marriage may not ultimately last.
How you begin difficult conversations
Talking about problems can help you work through them. However, the researchers found that those who started difficult conversations abruptly rather than politely easing into the topic were more likely to divorce. Phrases like “You never” or “You always” are also concerning.
Being overly defensive
When your partner comes to you with a complaint, do you thank them for sharing it, consider whether there is some truth to it and try and imagine things from their point of view? Or do you jump straight on the defensive? Defensiveness is a problematic sign in a relationship.
Failing to engage
To work through your problems, you need to talk about them. If your partner ignores or blocks your attempts to have a difficult conversation or zones out, you won’t be able to improve things.
You treat each other with contempt
Whether it is both of you doing this or just one of you, it’s an indicator the marriage is likely coming to an end. Contempt signals a lack of respect for the other person, and mutual respect is vital for any functioning relationship.
If you spot any of these warning signs, you may benefit from seeking outside help. You could try getting therapeutic help to improve things or legal help to learn more about what a divorce would entail. What’s sure is that you need to take some kind of action because your relationship is sending you warning signals that require your attention.