How many times have you heard unhappy couples say they’re staying together for the sake of the children? They feel that a divorce would be disruptive; therefore, they will remain in an unsatisfactory marriage until their kids are grown.
While their intentions are good, sometimes parents do greater harm to their children by staying married.
The pros and cons
Parents may feel torn between the desire to provide a stable home environment and the stress of remaining in a disappointing marriage. This decision has pros and cons.
The pros can include:
- A two-parent home provides stability and security.
- It may be better financially and give children the resources to pursue extracurricular activities, sports and educational opportunities.
- Children can spend time with both parents without the complications of custody arrangements.
- There may be a stigma attached to divorce in some cultures.
The cons can include:
- An unhappy marriage impacts the emotional and mental health of the parents and the children. Children often sense the tension, causing them to feel anxiety and stress.
- Children’s primary model of relationships comes from observing how their parents interact. Seeing their parents stay in a marriage without love and respect potentially shows children that this type of dysfunctional relationship is the norm.
- When parents sacrifice their happiness for their children’s sake, they may feel depressed and resentful towards their children.
- Being exposed to constant conflict and arguments can be more damaging to a child’s emotional well-being than a divorce.
Making the choice to stay together or divorce is deeply personal. Children are often resilient. Knowing that both parents love and value them and are committed to active involvement in their lives is vital to a child’s emotional health and development. By prioritizing their children’s health and happiness, parents can make the best decision for the whole family.